The night that our precious Laynee died, as we sat in a small family waiting area, pain and terror clawed at me. There are no words to describe the desperation that gripped us. I knew, in my soul, that even though the hospital staff were working to save her, my baby girl was in heaven. What I didn't know was how we were supposed to survive this horror.
I don't know much of what went on it that little waiting room or who was even there. The only thing that I do know is that someone wrapped their arms around me and whispered words that penetrated through the dark chaos. "Good is good, all the time. All the time, God is good." Those six little words have had a profound impact on carrying us through the difficult days of grief and child loss.
"God is good, all the time." Even when his ways are not our ways. Even when we can't see through the darkness. Even when we cannot begin to understand what he is doing. On the very best of days and on the very worst of days.
I began blogging two months after Laynee died. "Laynee's Blog" became a place for me to purge all the messiness of grief from my head. "Laynee's Blog" became sacred but I loved blogging so I began a new "Family Blog" to chronicle the events of our family life. As time went on I and healing began, I found that I often didn't know which blog to go to for writing certain things. Laynee, her accident and the subsequent, never ending sorrow was an integral part of our family. So I decided to begin a new blog, a place where I could record our family life but also reflect upon all that life has taught us through child loss.
I struggled to find a title for this new blog but then one day, as the fifth anniversary of Laynee's accident approached and I could, once again, feel the hands of grief threatening to drag me down, it came to me. It's been right there all along. The words that have become like a mantra on painful days would be the title. The purpose behind this blog is to bring hope to those who are suffering the unthinkable, whatever that may be. It is a gentle reminder that whatever we are going through, God is good and God does good, always, there are no exceptions.
"God is good, all the time."