The older Moise gets, the more difficult it becomes to be out and about. So, more and more, we find ourselves staying close to home. He enjoys trips to the store or the mall but getting him in and out of van - in his wheelchair - when it's cold out is unpleasant for all of us. Unless we can make a shopping trip with just one stop, we avoid it and usually opt, instead, for online shopping where all I need to do is step outside to retrieve the packages. Additionally, of all the places that we go, Moise seems to feel the most agitated and stressed in other homes, especially if they are unfamiliar. Add to that a lot of people, crowded spaces and excited voices and Christmas gatherings can be an over stimulated disaster. Subconsiously, I do a mental check of a person's home before accepting any invitations. If there are stairs, or if the home - especially the bathroom - is not wheelchair friendly (and most are not) we usually quietly decline. And so it is that Christmas time is extremely low key. A fact that I appreciate more with each passing year.
The kids are all home. Jade got in last week and Jamee came through the door late Friday night. It's amazing how much laughter and, sometimes, bickering and joyful chatter they bring with them. The house is very much alive when everyone is home. And mixed in with all that joy, tucked away deep in my heart is the aching that comes from knowing that as lively and exciting and joyful my full house is, it's not quite complete. Our family circle is broken and always will be here on this earth. Our youngest daughter is here, but only in our hearts.
We have lots of baking to do and already enjoyed a bit of cookie decorating with Kruz's play date friends.
The little ones serve as a reminder to me that we don't need extravagance. A plain old square box provided an entire morning of entertainment, imagination and growing. The simplest things are often the very best things when our hearts are open and pure enough to see their beauty.
And Kruz is learning from these. It melts my heart.
Christmas falling on a Thursday this year makes it extra wonderful as Jim will be able to take a Friday off as well. I'm looking forward to a lot of relaxing here at home with my children's voices as background music to my soul.
I love quiet evenings by the Christmas tree. The tree, like all the best things in life, is so simple. But it shines so majestic. We leave the lights on all through the night and when I step into the living room, in the early morning hours, I am always amazed at how such tiny little lights can light up the entire room. It reminds me of Christ, the baby who came to be the light of the world. The baby who came to bring hope for all. The baby who grew up to die so that I could have hope of seeing my own baby again one day.
Then Jesus spoke to them again, saying,
I'm thankful that in an otherwise chaotic world, Christmas time is blissfully unbusy.
God is good, all the time.