Clinging To What I Know

I have been asked hundreds of times in my life why God allows tragedy and suffering.

I have to confess that I really do not know the answer totally, even to my own satisfaction.

I have to accept, by faith, that God is sovereign, and he is a God of love and mercy and compassion in the midst of suffering.

-Rev. Billy Graham

I've avoided blogging in recent days.  This place, this sanctuary of sorts, where I come to purge my thoughts, has beckoned me, but I have feared the intensity of my own emotions.

I know that God is good. I know that God does good. I know that He is sovereign.  I know that his ways are higher than my own. I know that he knows the beginning from the end. I know that he works all things together for good.

I know all of these things on a cerebral level.  But right now life just doesn't make sense.

Last Saturday, February 7th, an ordinary weekend turned tragic in a heartbeat.  My brother in law, Matt, a loving husband, extraordinary father, son, brother, uncle and friend drew his last breath on earth.  He left a wife and two beautiful daughters, my sweet nieces, ages 10 and 13.  We were blind sided by his death.  He had faced serious health issues in the past but last week we never even imagined that he was near the end of his life.

Shortly after Laynee's accident I received an email from someone.  One of the things that he wrote was this: "Don't try to make sense of it.  You won't be able to.  Like Noah's flood, grief washes everything else away."

Throughout the last week we have witnessed the grief and sorrow of many.  We have seen the aching emptiness that Matt's abscence has left.  We have heard of the many lives he has touched.  We have remembered and celebrated his life and mourned his death.

And because I cannot make sense of it, I am clinging.  Clinging not to what I see or feel but to what I know..........that God is good.  That Matt is in heaven.  That he has been reunited with Laynee, a fact that we all know makes him very happy.  That we will see him again one day.

God is not surprised by what has happened.  He's got it all under control.

But I do not want you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning those who have fallen asleep,lest you sorrow as others who have no hope.   I Thessalonians 4:13

God is good, all the time.