Monday, September 1, 2014

To Honor Laynee

 Five years ago, Labor Day was just another holiday. It was a day off work, a day without the alarm clock, a day to spend working in the yard, or with family and friends, with cookouts and yard games.  A wrap up of another summer and the welcome ushering in of the glorious fall season.  That's all it was to me, nothing more, nothing less.  A holiday that somehow, as part of the working class of America, I thought I was entitled to.

Until that day.

 The day our world fell apart. The day the idealistic lens, through which we'd been viewing life through, was shattered and broken. From that day forward, our world began to spin on an entirely different axis.   Life as we knew it was gone and Labor Day 2009 would forever be the pivotal point of before and after. 

On that day, at the age of 2 years, 7 months and 7 days, our beautiful daughter, Jalayne "Laynee" Grace, stepped from this world into the arms of Jesus.  We were thrust, in an instant, into the fiery inferno of grief and trauma but more importantly, it was an inferno of refinement.

For five years I have writhed against the pain of child loss. In the process, out of nothing less than sheer necessity, I have found myself going deeper, spiritually, than I had ever been before. Deeper than is possible without the searing heat of trial and devastation.

Today, on this Labor Day,  5 years after the death of my precious child, I begin this new blog in honor of Laynee Grace.  I do not and never will pretend to understand why she was taken from this earth.  In my finite mind and in my mother heart, I feel that she was taken much, much too soon.  But I know that she is "in the place of God" and that "God meant it for good, to accomplish what is now being done."
 Genesis 50: 19-20

God is good, all the time.

As a result of this new blog, I will no longer be posting on our Family Blog. I will be posting family updates here as well as much refelection of  all that God has brought us to and through.   Because Laynee's Blog is one of the places that I feel closest to her, I will likely continue to post there, in letter form to her, on significant days.  

1 comment:

  1. I just turned my computer on to come say something about how Labor Day means a different thing to me than BBQs and a day off work, and before I could explain why, you were right there. Wishing so often that I'd had the privilege of squeezing that girl tight and hearing her giggle... but wishing more that you still had that privilege today. I'm consistently encouraged by your trusting...even when you're honest about the reality of your feelings, the trust in who He is prevails.